Self Help Sanctum

Author: Jabracad

  • Chefs, Actors and Leverage

    What’s the difference between bus drivers, chefs and surgeons on the one hand, and football players, actors and Web site operators on the other?

    The answer is leverage, or what Nassim Nicholas Taleb refers to in The Black Swan as scalability. Whether, and how much, to leverage is one of the biggest decisions to face in choosing a career.

    A bus driver can only drive one bus at a time; similarly a surgeon can only operate on one patient at a time. The income of both, and countless others engaged in many non-leveraged professions is proportionate to the time and effort devoted to their work. Of course there are variations within a particular trade, the more skilled the surgeon (or accountant, plumber, gardener…) the higher the unit fee that can be expected. But in all cases, once they stop doing it they stop getting paid.

    In contrast, consider the case of most actors. When they’re not waiting tables or driving taxis they might be playing to a few dozen in a community hall. But a few actors get to star in movies, and for the same amount of acting get to be seen by 100s of millions, not to mention DVD sales etc. That’s the power of leverage. (more…)

  • Coping with Depression and Stress

    I am no psychologist, but I have suffered from depression and stress for as long as I can remember. I therefore present the following framework based upon my first-hand experience, observation and reflection in the hope it may in some way be of help to my fellow sufferers.

    Depression is something that will inevitably be your close companion throughout the journey of life. It cannot be beaten or banished, but it can be managed and controlled through knowledge and understanding. There is no reason why those of us with depression cannot live fulfilling and successful lives. (more…)

  • Is Self-employment right for You?

    The question of whether its better to be employed or to run your own business has probably occurred to most of us at some time or another. In fact both paths have advantages and disadvantages. Here are some pointers on how to decide what’s best for you.

    The biggest attraction of employment has always been security. You have a contract with your employer to work for a certain rate per hour/week/month and provided you do your job to his/her satisfaction that income is guaranteed. Until relatively recently, employment meant a job for life. This is less true these days with many employed jobs operating on a fixed-term basis. Even open-ended contracts are subject to termination due to “restructuring”, “downsizing” and the like. That said, the degree of certainty of income mostly still exceeds that which comes from self-employment. (more…)

  • The Power of Focus

    Isn’t life amazing? Though sometimes frustrating, overwhelming, even infuriating, our journey through the material world is a truly fantastic adventure filled with potential for fulfilment and pleasure. But how many of are actually taking advantage of all that is on offer? Or to put it another way, how many of us are simply coasting through on cruise control and missing much of what’s out there?

    Life is certainly complex. Numerous things demand our attention, and in the final analysis most of these urgencies are utterly meaningless. Have we paid the gas bill?, remembered Mrs X’s birthday?, chosen the right outfit for the company “do”?….. The list is endless. The trouble is, with so much noise, can we even hear – never mind respond to – the real message? (more…)

  • Improving Self Esteem

    What Is Self Esteem?

    Self esteem (or self worth) is a measure of how valuable a person considers him/herself to be. If we have high self esteem we feel good about ourselves, and tend to live life positively. However, many people suffer from low self esteem, believing themselves to be of low, or no worth.

    Self esteem is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, “I am competent,” “I am worthy”) and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame.[1] Smith and Mackie define it by saying “The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it.”[2] (more…)

  • Living in the Moment

    Live not for tomorrow,
    yearn not for the past,
    live only for the moment,
    it’s all that is ours.

    These words should be obvious, but how many of us find it so difficult to focus our attention on the moment.

    Perhaps as an attempt to abdicate personal responsibility we too often tend to fall into one of two traps. Either our attention is fixed upon the past, memories of how it was, and how it was so much better than now… Or we imagine that everything will be alright tomorrow. Only tomorrow never comes!

    If we can look back at the past and identify happy times, that is great. Some can only remember sadness. Of course it does no harm at all to reminisce from time to time. But, for whatever reason we have been “spared” to exist in the present and so it is our implicit duty to make the most of that most precious of times – now. (more…)

  • Letting Go

    Let’s just be glad we had some time to spend together Kris Kristofferson

    Letting go is hard. The loss of a loved one. Preparing to leave the safety of school. A child leaving home. A relationship drawing to a close. Retirement….. The list is endless.

    Most or all of us have faced or will face one or more of these events in the course of our lives. The first of the four Noble Truths of Buddhism states that life means suffering. Even in the midst of our happiest times lies the reality that our happiness is transient. And when it passes we experience sorrow, perhaps fear. (more…)

  • The Introvert Personality

    A Definition of Introvert

    Introversion is the tendency to focus one’s attention towards the inner, mental world rather than external, physical “reality”.

    Introversion is a natural characteristic occurring in about 25% of the population according to psychotherapist Dr Marti Olsen Laney in her excellent book The Introvert Advantage. Dr Laney offers a further definition of the introvert personality, ie that introverts are those who draw energy from the inner world of ideas and emotions as opposed to extroverts who thrive on external experience and interaction.

    Introversion is not something we have or not, rather we all occupy a specific point on an introvert extrovert continuum.

    (more…)

  • Goal Setting and Achieving

    Personal Goal Setting and Planning

    Our logical, rational mind tells us we live in a predictable world. We flick the switch, the light comes on; turn the key, the car starts etc etc. But experience tells us life isn’t so simple. What we expect often doesn’t come about, while surprises happen with disturbing frequency. This inherent complexity and seeming randomness begs the question of whether it is ever worth the bother of trying to set goals or plan for the future.

    How many of us drift through daily life on autopilot? How much of what we experience is the result of conscious planning or intention, and how much just simply happens? Routine and habit are very comfortable states for the mind in which the subconscious takes control allowing our consciousness to wander freely in aimless chaos. Those that have tried meditation will know how much effort it takes to tame the mental flow of garbage.

    Whether you subscribe to the Spiritual view of being incarnate to learn and grow, or the materialist alternative of this life being all there is, spending our existence like a train traveling along fixed tracks is a terrific waste of potential. Despite life’s uncertainties, it follows that a degree of goal setting and planning combined with willful action is essential to make the most of our time on earth. (more…)

  • Purpose, Goals and Success

    Purpose and Goals

    Everyone has a purpose in life. For those of a spiritual disposition it might be to serve others, to resolve one’s karma, or simply to amass experience to carry back to the higher realm. For everyone else it might be to leave their mark in some (hopefully positive) way, to do their best for their family, or simple to fill their lives with as much happiness as they can find. Purpose is as unique as the individual.

    Our true purpose remains constant throughout our life, but is most commonly expressed through our many and changing goals. It is our goals which motivate and drive our choices and actions and dictate, to some extent at least, our destiny (or the kind of life we experience).

    At any one time an individual has goals at various different levels. At the highest level are our major goals. These specify what we want to do with our lives, what we want to achieve. Depending on our stage in life, as well as our unique character, major goals might be to graduate college, own a house, move to ABC, retire with a pension of $X,000 a month… (more…)