Self Help Sanctum

fulfill your self

Finding Fulfillment

Knowing thyself

A necessary and key condition for a fulfilling life is that our efforts are aligned with our true goals. Although this sounds simple, and self-evident, sadly many people go through life without even being aware of their true nature or what their goals are; it’s unsurprising such folk struggle to find satisfaction

This article presents a straightforward framework for discovering your goals and creating a roadmap for their realization.

The suggested mechanism consists of 9 components: (more…)

Thinking Out of the Box

What is Thinking Out of the Box?

Thinking out of the box is the mode of thought that dares to challenge conventional wisdom, ie it dares to question beliefs so deeply held by so many that they are considered almost sacred. Thinking out the box is an all too rare quality, but when applied it can bring revolutionary leaps in human progress. Even where the existing ways really are most appropriate, an “out of the box” critic can actually enhance their validity by forcing their proponents to justify them.

By contrast, thinking inside the box is following convention. doing what everyone else does just because that’s the way it’s always been done. Thinking in the box allows survival, but without innovation we cannot do much more than stand still and stagnate. (more…)

Fate vs Free Will

Predestination, Free Will, or Both?

Are we victims of inescapable fate, or do we really have the power to create our own destiny? That is the age-old question.

The Scientific View

In the 17th Century Isaac Newton formulated his laws of motion and gravitation which gave rise to the concept of a mechanistic "clockwork" universe in which everything proceeded deterministically. Everything that happened was no more than the inevitable consequence of all it followed, including human behavior. God and the soul were redundant.

The clockwork universe was shattered in the 20th century. First Einstein discovered neither time nor space are as we perceive them, but are intertwined in a 4-dimensional continuum. Next Quantum physics found that, far from following principles of cause and effect, reality at its fundamental level is inherently indeterministic.

Yet the prevailing view of science as expounded by the likes of Richard Dawkins is that life (including humanity) is no more that sophisticated machinery. (more…)

Finding Your Life’s True Vocation

Do you have a job, a career, or a vocation?

A job is something undertaken simply to put food on the table and a roof overhead. A career usually implies a skilled trade or profession reached after a significant period of training/education, often with scope for continuing progression. A vocation goes further than the above. It is the alignment of one’s efforts and achievements with their major life purpose.

In thinking of vocation examples of selfless philanthropists such as Mother Teresa and Albert Schweitzer spring to mind. Admirable though these individuals may be, finding and pursuing your vocation need not involve such extremes of sacrifice. (more…)

Dealing with Guilt and Regret

Too often we are dogged by the dark clouds of guilt and regret. Regret is the feeling of wishing we had (or not) done something in the past different than we actually did. Guilt is feeling bad, or even disliking ourselves, over some past act or omission that caused unjustified hurt.

Dealing with Regret

Time, as we perceive it, is linear. What is done is done and can never be undone. The most powerful man on the planet cannot change by one iota what happened a fraction of a second ago. Given that, stop worrying about the past. You’re only wasting precious energy that ought to be channeled into now.

We all experience feelings of regret at some time in our lives. Since we don’t always (ie never) perform perfectly, after any event there will be feelings that we could have done better. (more…)

You Are Beautiful

You are beautiful.

You are a unique individual. A star like no other; past, present or future. You are on a special journey with a very important purpose.

You are beautiful.

You are part of that great oneness known as Spirit. You are also part of its particular manifestation that is the physical universe. Just as you are attached to every other atom and molecule of the cosmos so you are connected to every part of the Great Spirit, or God. Clothed in a physical body that in itself is a miracle of design and creation you have at your heart divine light. (more…)

Time Management Techniques

The Benefits of Time Management

Despite the relentless march of technological progress many of us are busier and more pressured than ever before. Take the cell phone as an example. Just a few years ago if we were out, we were out of contact, and that was that. Now we’re contactable 24 hours a day, wherever we may be. And, more often that not, that out of hours contact brings yet more to be done.

If you do have too much to do in too little time, be pleased. At least you are special and in demand. It also shows you are living life fully, if not necessarily in the wisest fashion.

A less frequent, and possibly worse, problem is that of not having enough to fill our time. The over-worked and over-stressed may think this is an enviable position to be in, but think again. If we cannot fully utilize our time we begin to question the very reasons for our existence.

Fortunately the ideas of time management can help in both situations. (more…)

How to Make Good Decisions

For many, making a decision is one of the hardest challenges presented by life. It need not be. The very fact we are faced with decisions emphasizes our very special gift of free will. Without free will we would be mere automata, biological machines going through the motions. Consciousness without meaning or purpose.

So, why is decision making so difficult? Perhaps because of imperfect knowledge. We cannot know in advance how each option will “pan out”.

Perhaps because making a choice means by definition the rejection of one or more previously existing potentialities. It’s comfortable to have choices. Making a decision means closing doors.

Being faced with decisions is a very real reminder that we are more than flesh and blood, atoms and molecules. We are Spiritual beings temporarily clothed in flesh. Although subject to the constraints of physical existence we maintain responsibility for, and control over, our personal destiny. (more…)

The Only Child

Review and Reflection on The Only Child – How to Survive Being One by Jill Pitkeathley & David Emerson

The Only Child: How to Survive Being On

Historically only children were a relatively rare phenomenon, but recently statistics show they are increasing, eg most notably in China which has operated a one-child policy since the late 1970′s but in the United States, Europe, Britain and Japan the number of one child families has also increased considerably since the 1940s.

Pitkeathley and Emerson’s book, first published in 1993, is based on an extensive series of interviews with only children and those close to them.

The overwhelming conclusion is that being an only child is not the ideal from of upbringing, and The Only Child illustrates a number of reasons why this is so. That said, it is certainly not a sentence of doom and, particularly by understanding the issues around being an only one, there is no reason why onlies shouldn’t lead happy, successful and fulfilled lives.

Personality is formed (largely) by an amalgam of innate characteristics and the experiences of early life (ie upbringing). While it would be a gross oversimplification to suggest that all only children share similar influences and personalities, this book does identify a number of core issues to which a significant number of only children can identify. (more…)

The Meaning of Dreams

Why do we dream?

Nobody really knows why we dream. Explanatory theories include the following:

(more…)